Dec. 1st 2016

So much for being friends with "classically" autistic people. in People suck. Cats are awesome. Dogs are alright.

•  Dec. 1, 2016, 3:37 p.m.
 
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• Public

This is the second time this has happened to me. Autistic people come to the Asperger’s subreddit looking to make friends, and most of the time they don’t bother to mention that they have HFA, (high functioning autism), as opposed to AS, (Asperger’s syndrome). And I don’t blame them, since the DSM V (the diagnostic manual) lists it all under the same header, it would be logical to assume that we would have a lot in common.

As far as impairments, we do. As far as conversation and personalities and the ability to reason, we absolutely don’t.

I’ll defend my intellectually impaired brethren. I’ll give them every consideration. But I’m done trying to actually have more than a passing conversation with them. That’s presuming that I can tell through just an internet chat, obviously,  which was the problem here. I didn’t know what sort of person I was talking to until it all went to hell.

He never said much, but some guys don’t. And he had no decent pictures on his Facebook page.

The really tragic thing is that these people need friends a whole lot worse than I do,  and I genuinely sympathize; but it’s not something that I can do. It requires a level of patience that I suspect even most neurotypicals don’t have.

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This makes  twice that I’ve Facebook friended what I thought were other aspies, only to end up in some seriously f@#$ed up chats, that I then have to try to get out of with out being an ass, because these people can’t help their issues any more than I can help mine; and the subject matter gets so disgusting, so fast, that being polite becomes impossible.

That’s the worst. Having to be rude to someone I sympathize so deeply with.

He lives with his family, has never had a job beyond delivering papers, and rarely leaves the house. He’s lonely and depressed and sometimes suicidal, and I know exactly what that feels like.

On the other hand, he has no concept of what is socially acceptable at all and makes me look like a really together, classy, person.

Sure, I’m unintentionally rude; but I don’t talk about sex with strangers. Or bodily functions. Or the parts of my anatomy that next to no one has ever seen. There is zero risk of me groping or allowing myself to be groped by anyone but my husband.

This guy went into great detail and painted himself as very distressed over someone in his house repeatedly fondling him against his will.

So I suggested that he slap the bastard and tell him to go to hell.

He said he couldn’t, because he was afraid. So I told him to call the cops.

He just said “Hello. This was in my room.” As if the fact that it’s someone who lives there changes anything.

I said that I wasn’t understanding why he couldn’t tell the police.

Then he completely changed the subject and started talking about f@#$ing Batman.
I’m like, what the f@#$?

I told him that I thought he was evading an unpleasant subject.

Then he tells me that it was just a joke!

Like he’d rather pretend the whole thing was a fabrication than do anything about it!

So I told him that I needed to go to bed, and left.

Incidentally, I know he’s classically autistic because he uploaded a picture of himself and his molester, and it’s obvious in his face that he has some kind of genetic anomaly.

I know his name. I’m considering contacting some authority where he lives, but if he just denies it, what would be the point?

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The last autistic guy I spoke with would not stop flirting with me. After four or five conversations revolving around nothing but how desperate he was to get laid, with increasingly yucky levels of detail, I stopped talking to him.

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No more. If a person can’t type a nice, full sentence; or seems less than talkative, I’m out. I’m not giving acquaintances from the Asperger’s subreddit any more leeway. Aspies are intelligent, opinionated, and often assholes. That’s who I want to talk with. Not people who grasp even less about life than I do.

I feel bad for them, but it’s overwhelmingly obvious that long conversations are not a form of help than I can provide. Which goes back to my feeling bad, because these people need  friends even worse than I do. 
But apparently they need autistic friends, or extremely patient neurotypical friends.

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I need to find a way to be helpful that doesn’t involve long talks.

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Last updated December 01, 2016