May 27th 2017
What the hell. I did a survey. in People suck. Cats are awesome. Dogs are alright.
- May 27, 2017, 8:12 p.m.
- |
- Public
Are the shows you watch embarrassing?
I prefer the terms “diverse” and “eccentric”. I have a difficult time finding shows that neither piss off nor bore me; so anything that does neither of those things is a keeper. At the moment I’m binge watching The Mighty Boosh.
I prefer the terms “diverse” and “eccentric”. I have a difficult time finding shows that neither piss off nor bore me; so anything that does neither of those things is a keeper. At the moment I’m binge watching The Mighty Boosh.
Would you ever get plastic surgery?
Sure. Life is too short to endure imperfections if you don’t have to. Plus, I’d like horns. And fangs.
Sure. Life is too short to endure imperfections if you don’t have to. Plus, I’d like horns. And fangs.
Do you take Cosmo sex tips seriously?
I don’t take anything about women’s magazines seriously. If I had a free subscription, I’d just use them to line the litter boxes.
I don’t take anything about women’s magazines seriously. If I had a free subscription, I’d just use them to line the litter boxes.
Would you ever date a Mexican?
I’ve been in relationships with a woman, a guy of mixed African heritage, and one who was partly Asian, so sure. I’m attracted to the brain more than the body.
I’ve been in relationships with a woman, a guy of mixed African heritage, and one who was partly Asian, so sure. I’m attracted to the brain more than the body.
Are you a Diet Coke addict?
I’m addicted to caffeine, diphenhydramine, and propranolol. How those things are delivered is comparatively unimportant. That said, I prefer Cherry Coke.
I’m addicted to caffeine, diphenhydramine, and propranolol. How those things are delivered is comparatively unimportant. That said, I prefer Cherry Coke.
How do you take your whiskey?
With Coke. Unless it’s Southern Comfort, then straight.
With Coke. Unless it’s Southern Comfort, then straight.
Do you chew on your ice cubes?
People who do that have an exceptional tolerance to pain.
People who do that have an exceptional tolerance to pain.
Do you honestly consider yourself attractive?
One of the advantages of Asperger’s: I’m aging well. I still get told that I’m too young to remember 80’s t.v. shows. Yay for being 44 and looking twenty something. Plus I exercise. Leg lifts, and sit ups, and repetitive stair climbing.
One of the advantages of Asperger’s: I’m aging well. I still get told that I’m too young to remember 80’s t.v. shows. Yay for being 44 and looking twenty something. Plus I exercise. Leg lifts, and sit ups, and repetitive stair climbing.
You’re having twins, so what’s your first reaction?
My doctor is a raving idiot, and maybe I can sue him for malpractice. I keep very good track of my cycles.
My doctor is a raving idiot, and maybe I can sue him for malpractice. I keep very good track of my cycles.
What do you associate with the number ten?
It’s an even number, that gets reduced to 1 in numerology. Also it’s the month of October, which is the most glorious month of the Gregorian calendar, and reminds me that Halloween may be the best thing about living in the US.
It’s an even number, that gets reduced to 1 in numerology. Also it’s the month of October, which is the most glorious month of the Gregorian calendar, and reminds me that Halloween may be the best thing about living in the US.
Have you ever felt like a stalker?
I need to know everything that I possibly can about anything that interests me. Sometimes that includes people, but is it “stalking” if you hate the person and are just looking for legitimate reasons to report them? Or if you’re just really hoping you’ll out live them, and want to know when they get sick or die? I thought “stalking” was for possessive lovers and creepy fans. If not, then yes; I suppose so.
I need to know everything that I possibly can about anything that interests me. Sometimes that includes people, but is it “stalking” if you hate the person and are just looking for legitimate reasons to report them? Or if you’re just really hoping you’ll out live them, and want to know when they get sick or die? I thought “stalking” was for possessive lovers and creepy fans. If not, then yes; I suppose so.
Do you have a smoker’s cough?
No. I don’t smoke. With so many blood relatives dying from lung cancer, I’d have to be an idiot.
No. I don’t smoke. With so many blood relatives dying from lung cancer, I’d have to be an idiot.
Is your hair naturally curly?
Nope. Straight “dish water blonde”, past my ass, and dyed permanent Clairol Blue-Black.
Nope. Straight “dish water blonde”, past my ass, and dyed permanent Clairol Blue-Black.
Have you ever written a word down, then realized it looked really weird?
I write in Theban. Does that count?
I write in Theban. Does that count?
Do you have a best friend named Sam?
I don’t even know a Sam.
I don’t even know a Sam.
How often do you skip class?
When I was in school, all the time. I’m encroaching on menopause now, so not so much.
When I was in school, all the time. I’m encroaching on menopause now, so not so much.
Do you text smiley faces a lot?
Only to people I like. So no.
Only to people I like. So no.
Do you even like texting?
It prevents having to actually speak to a person, so yes.
It prevents having to actually speak to a person, so yes.
Have you ever been on anti-depressants?
Oh yes. For many years.
Oh yes. For many years.
How’s your week been?
Mediocre. A lot of good, some bad. I’m avoiding my neighbors so I don’t threaten to kill them, but I got some nice new things, so it sort of evens out.
Mediocre. A lot of good, some bad. I’m avoiding my neighbors so I don’t threaten to kill them, but I got some nice new things, so it sort of evens out.
Do you like dates?
Calendar dates? Some more than others. Fruit called “dates”? Not particularly, though I don’t dislike them. The stereotypical dinner-and-a-movie? Far too mundane.
Calendar dates? Some more than others. Fruit called “dates”? Not particularly, though I don’t dislike them. The stereotypical dinner-and-a-movie? Far too mundane.
Have you ever starved yourself?
Another advantage of my particular physiognomy: I’ve never had a large appetite. My father thought I was malnourished as a child. I eat whatever I want, and I weight 117 lbs. It’s been an easy come back, whenever some fat person has picked on me.
Another advantage of my particular physiognomy: I’ve never had a large appetite. My father thought I was malnourished as a child. I eat whatever I want, and I weight 117 lbs. It’s been an easy come back, whenever some fat person has picked on me.
Do you got swag?
I got a Kreepsville coffin purse, a metallic paisley jacket, and Doc Martens. I’ve got enough sterling silver pentacles to wear a different one every day for a week, plus bats, skulls, and dragons. Fuck yeah.
I got a Kreepsville coffin purse, a metallic paisley jacket, and Doc Martens. I’ve got enough sterling silver pentacles to wear a different one every day for a week, plus bats, skulls, and dragons. Fuck yeah.
Do you like the old 90210 or the new one better?
Do you like horse shit or dog shit?
Do you like horse shit or dog shit?
How do your nails look right now?
Medium length, with clear glitter polish. I like glitter polish because it isn’t noticeable if you screw up.
Medium length, with clear glitter polish. I like glitter polish because it isn’t noticeable if you screw up.
Have you ever been in detention?
Oh yes.
Oh yes.
Are you rude to police officers and do you know any of them by name?
Not in recent years. I try to avoid them in my old age.
Not in recent years. I try to avoid them in my old age.
Do you wear black to look skinnier?
I wear black for the symbolism. I’m a misanthropist and an old school goth.
I wear black for the symbolism. I’m a misanthropist and an old school goth.
What was or is high school like for you?
Part of the reason I have PTSD today. I dropped out in eleventh grade, got my GED and went to college.
Part of the reason I have PTSD today. I dropped out in eleventh grade, got my GED and went to college.
Do you look good naked?
Compared to other women my age, definitely.
Compared to other women my age, definitely.
What should you be doing right now?
Painting. I’m working on a Shub Niggurath.
Painting. I’m working on a Shub Niggurath.
Have you ever been in rehab?
I’ve been in psych wards, but never for drugs.
I’ve been in psych wards, but never for drugs.
Do you have any true friends?
Two.
Two.
When’s the last time you had a really amazing kiss?
This morning. The husband rocks.
This morning. The husband rocks.
Have you ever drank cough syrup to get high?
Have you ever raced to work on a skateboard, when you had a perfectly good car? They invented this thing called a “bong”, you may have heard of it; and there’s an extremely popular medicinal plant that’s incredibly easy to buy and smoke, and that’s legal in several states, now. - I’m pre-approved for it, if Ohio ever gets through all of the f!@#ing red tape.
Have you ever raced to work on a skateboard, when you had a perfectly good car? They invented this thing called a “bong”, you may have heard of it; and there’s an extremely popular medicinal plant that’s incredibly easy to buy and smoke, and that’s legal in several states, now. - I’m pre-approved for it, if Ohio ever gets through all of the f!@#ing red tape.
Are you failing school?
One thing I never failed at.
One thing I never failed at.
Do you feel like a failure?
I feel like a vindictive aspie with sociopathic tendencies.
I feel like a vindictive aspie with sociopathic tendencies.
Do you like the band Say Anything?
Do you like cooked dirt?
I like Creature Feature, Voltaire, Ghost, Priest, Rufus Rex, and pretty much anything with vocals that you can understand, that’s about death, insanity, monsters, or necrophilia.
Do you like cooked dirt?
I like Creature Feature, Voltaire, Ghost, Priest, Rufus Rex, and pretty much anything with vocals that you can understand, that’s about death, insanity, monsters, or necrophilia.
Do you want a significant other and will you ever admit that?
I’ve lived with him for twenty one years. I guess I should admit that I want him, yeah.
I’ve lived with him for twenty one years. I guess I should admit that I want him, yeah.
What prescriptions do you have?
Propranolol. For my anxiety and rages.
Propranolol. For my anxiety and rages.
Have you ever been told you look like a chipmunk?
I’ve been told that I look like a mouse, that I have “doe eyes”, and that I’m “cold”; but never a chipmunk, no.
I’ve been told that I look like a mouse, that I have “doe eyes”, and that I’m “cold”; but never a chipmunk, no.
What does your record look like?
Oh yes, I’m a felon; but it’s from twenty six years ago, when I had significantly less self control.
Oh yes, I’m a felon; but it’s from twenty six years ago, when I had significantly less self control.
Do you own any cool socks?
Green with black stripes, Halloween patterns, and plain black.
Green with black stripes, Halloween patterns, and plain black.
Have you ever been so obsessed with a book that you read it while walking?
I am a great many things, but “stupid” isn’t one of them.
I am a great many things, but “stupid” isn’t one of them.
Do you look good in yellow?
That’s a question that was not meant to ever be answered.
That’s a question that was not meant to ever be answered.
Did your first love love you back?
Probably not. Thinking of him now, I hope life has been cruel to him.
Probably not. Thinking of him now, I hope life has been cruel to him.
What’s the stupidest name you’ve ever given a pet?
Felina The Floofle.
Felina The Floofle.
Do you have a dumb stoner laugh?
Do you have a preference as to what orifice I shove this tablet into?
Do you have a preference as to what orifice I shove this tablet into?
Do you have nice legs?
Compared to other women my age, certainly.
Compared to other women my age, certainly.
Do you have scars on your wrists, or how about anywhere else?
My wrists have so many scars that they look like a bad road map.
My wrists have so many scars that they look like a bad road map.
Do you wear tube socks?
Do you like to have sharp objects embedded in your skull?
Do you like to have sharp objects embedded in your skull?
Is Matt Damon sexy?
He’s too mediocre. Peter Steel was sexy. Alan Rickman was sexy.
He’s too mediocre. Peter Steel was sexy. Alan Rickman was sexy.
Are you self-conscious about your shoulders in halter tops?
I’ll let you know if I ever suffer enough brain damage to think that wearing a halter top might be a valid option.
I’ll let you know if I ever suffer enough brain damage to think that wearing a halter top might be a valid option.
Are you a fast typer?
I never learned to type traditionally. A psychologist not long ago said “I wish I could type as fast as you do”; so I’m the fastest hunt-and-peck typist in Toledo, apparently.
I never learned to type traditionally. A psychologist not long ago said “I wish I could type as fast as you do”; so I’m the fastest hunt-and-peck typist in Toledo, apparently.
Would you ever live in Beverly Hills?
Only if I set out to be a suicide bomber. All of those bimbos in one place would be easy pickings.
Only if I set out to be a suicide bomber. All of those bimbos in one place would be easy pickings.
Are you good at being mean?
THAT is a stupid question.
THAT is a stupid question.
Have you ever blacked out from being so drunk?
Nope. I’ve broken a lot of personal property, but at least I remember it.
Nope. I’ve broken a lot of personal property, but at least I remember it.
Do you like clubs?
I prefer a hatchet.
I prefer a hatchet.
How old were you when you had your first drink?
Thirteen. On New Years.
Thirteen. On New Years.
Would you ever marry someone named Frank?
I hate a man whose name is so many parts of speech: Frankly, Frank, you paid too many francs for these franks. So do you have a big frank, Frank? Can I be frank, Frank?
I hate a man whose name is so many parts of speech: Frankly, Frank, you paid too many francs for these franks. So do you have a big frank, Frank? Can I be frank, Frank?
Do you like fedoras?
Tom Baker seated the fedora firmly in my heart back in 1979.
Tom Baker seated the fedora firmly in my heart back in 1979.
Do you drink vodka straight?
Do you enjoy the taste of medical grade alcohol? Why not lighter fluid? How about some gasoline?
Do you enjoy the taste of medical grade alcohol? Why not lighter fluid? How about some gasoline?
Have you ever gotten a migraine?
Yes. Not since I gave up trying to maintain a mundane job, though.
Yes. Not since I gave up trying to maintain a mundane job, though.
Have you ever screamed at someone so hard your face turned red?
Oh yes.
Oh yes.
Was your senior prom romantic?
I wouldn’t know. I’d dropped out, and was partying with my boyfriend and his friends.
I wouldn’t know. I’d dropped out, and was partying with my boyfriend and his friends.
Do you look presentable right now?
To answer the door, sure. Black jeans and a Creature Feature shirt.
To answer the door, sure. Black jeans and a Creature Feature shirt.
Have you ever been the wallflower at a party?
Nope. I pretend to be outgoing at parties.
Nope. I pretend to be outgoing at parties.
Have you ever had your ass grabbed?
Oh yes. And he had his toes stomped, and was publicly called out.
Oh yes. And he had his toes stomped, and was publicly called out.
Are you still a Chris Brown fan after all his shit?
I’m proud to say that I don’t know enough about him to care. I was never a fan to begin with.
I’m proud to say that I don’t know enough about him to care. I was never a fan to begin with.
Do you post things on Facebook that are personal?
Oh yes. I get pissed off at someone, and I make sure that as many people as possible are aware of just what caliber of douchebag that they are.
Oh yes. I get pissed off at someone, and I make sure that as many people as possible are aware of just what caliber of douchebag that they are.
But as far as my love life, or finances, or anything else, no.
There. I did a survey. I’ll call that my “social effort” for the week.
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