Nov 23rd 2016

The temporal nature of all things. in People suck. Cats are awesome. Dogs are alright.

  •  Nov. 23, 2016, 5:56 a.m.
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I just finished packing, wrapping, and addressing the box to my long distance friend. And there are two overwhelming sentiments: One, he is awesome. And two, I’ve had good friends before, and they’re all gone now.
But, not out of hope that this friendship will be different, but to enjoy it while it lasts, I’ve poured more of my heart into this box than I’ve put into anything for anyone (aside from the Male and my mother) in a very, very, long time.
Because however long I may have him, he genuinely understands me. He’s also an aspie, with similar tastes and frustrations. If he were ten years older I’d be obsessed in a romantic way, but he’s young enough to be my kid, so instead I’m thinking of him like a nephew. And may the gods help anyone who ever harms him, because I’m stereotypically evil, at my core, and I’m inclined to literally murder anyone who hurts the few things that I actually care about.
Anyway, this box: Evidently they don’t have much in the way of Halloween in Australia. And that is just tragic, no matter which way you proverbially slice it.
So I’ve packed up two pounds of candy, of six different kinds, each wrapped in little cellophane Halloween baggies with metallic silver ties. I put those in a gift box that’s printed and shaped like a haunted house, with cartoonish monsters on the sides. I also packed a candy corn wand thingy with a jack o lantern on top, and a bunch of plastic spiders and a bat. I made a card from one of my art prints and put that in there, with a bunch of neatly folded Halloween ads on the bottom, and a souvenir from the big Halloween party we went to locally. I padded it all with copious bubble wrap, and filled in all of the excess space with crumpled Sunday comics. No automotive sections or classifieds. Just the comics. I save them for just such occasions.
On the top of the box I put an address card that I painted by hand, with a little dragon and a tentacle monster and bats, and I covered the whole thing in plenty of box tape to somewhat water and weatherproof it. Additionally I drew cats and dragons on the box.
I treated it just the way I used to do boxes that I sent to my actual nieces and nephews, before they all grew up and became Bible thumping, Trump voting, intolerant idiots.
It has occurred to me that his parents might think our friendship inappropriate. But he’s legally an adult, for one; and I’m on the other side of the planet, for two. If I were a stalker, I’d have to be a wealthy one. Besides which we’re Facebook friends, and anyone can plainly see from my profile posts and photos that I’m precisely what I appear to be.
The best long term scenario would be that we stay friends over the years, and one day I might leave all of my property to him. I can’t see how his family could have a problem with that. I just want somebody to remember me when I’m dead. It’s a perfectly legitimate, if not altruistic, motivation.
So off into the postal system my package goes, to cross oceans and continents, and maybe, possibility, serve a positive purpose.
And hopefully not melt into a mess in the Australian heat before it even gets there.
Last updated December 04, 2016

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