Nov. 29th 2016

It ain't so bad. in People suck. Cats are awesome. Dogs are alright.

•  Nov. 29, 2016, 4:11 a.m.
 
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• Public

It’s a ridiculous juxtaposition, my life from 2004 to 2014, and my life now. I’ve been homeless twice, lived without power and water for months several times, and constantly been legitimately broke. All of that and more, because I lived in a Republican state and my family abandoned me, so I had neither government assistance nor family assistance. Seriously, f@#$ Republicans, and f@#$ my family.

Now I’m in politically mediocre Ohio, where the busses run seven days a week, my electric and gas are locked at 6% of our income each, and praise Obamacare I’ve finally got a diagnosis so I can pursue SSI. A government program employs the Male, and our landlords effectively gave us our house. Call that a testament to the power of a change in political atmosphere. No respectable Republican ever gives anyone any thing. It would make their brains implode.

Sometimes I get a song in my head. My subconscious picks the track that it thinks is most suitable for a situation. I’ll find myself humming it, and wonder, “why is that stuck in my head?”. Then I mentally go over the lyrics, and find some line that applies to my present circumstances. Today it was David Lee Roth’s “Just Like Paradise”. And while I don’t feel particularly exuberant about my life, I guess my subconscious is probably right. Things are definitely not as bad as they used to be. Which is freaking terrifying if you’re used to living like a feral animal.

I’m getting a proper gaming computer for Christmas. And I’ve got a couple hundred to spend on the Male. And once we’ve replaced the things we lost in storage that we actually need, (household stuff), then I’m finally going to make that Halloween village with a train that I’ve wanted for years. By this time next year, the house should look really cool. New carpet, better paint, new handles and hinges on the kitchen cabinets.

It just irks me greatly that I have no one to invite over to see it when it’s done.

I mean I know I’m an unpleasant person. Gods know I should know that. I’ve certainly been told it often enough. But it still p#@$es me off that everybody else has friends and family, but not me. I have internet friends, who will never meet me in real life, and would very likely not like me if they did, because no one does.

I’m not exaggerating. I’m over forty. I’ve had a lot of jobs and met a lot of people. I do not make friends easily, and when I actually manage to, I never keep them. The world hates me, and hate it right back.

But screw you, past coworkers and managers and classmates and acquaintances. Family members and so called “friends”. I’m sleeping all day and playing WoW all night and doing a whole lot of not much, and I own my house, and I have a pretty much stress free existence.

So yea. It could be a lot worse.