May 2th 2017

Sedative addled revenge. Aka: The plan for maximum legal neighbor annoyance. in People suck. Cats are awesome. Dogs are alright.

  •  May 29, 2017, 1:07 a.m.
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Several days ago, one of my neighbors took it upon himself to intentionally murder a large vine that had been covering about a fifth of the front of our house. He did this while he was between our houses, putting plastic under his downspout.
At the time I screamed at his house, folded his plastic up on itself, and laid the little trees he’d cut down on top of it. That area IS my property, after all. I also made a laminated white cardboard sign and hung it on the gate out there, that says, “You killed the vine. YOU get a ladder and take it all down. (Which I don’t expect him to do, but I’m not about to let him think that he’s some super-sneaky ninja asshole.) And I made a post telling everyone that “My neighbor is a douchebag”, with details, on NextDoor, and shared it on Facebook.
Yes, I’m immature. That’s just a fact. That he’s a metaphorical piece of shit is also a fact.
Here I am now, four days later. I’ve got a fairly large, conspicuous, security camera that the Male is mounting on the front of the house, and I made a sign that says, “Smile, you’re on camera. And potentially Youtube”, and I put that in the window nearest his house.
And I’ve decided that if he didn’t like that vine, he should really get his panties in a twist if I intentionally make the place look as tacky as humanly possible.
So, seeing as I LOVE Halloween, I just bought sixty four feet of orange string lights on Ebay, to line the front windows. And I’ll put my collection of paper mache and foam jack O lanterns back in the windows, with fresh flicker bulbs. And I’m debating on getting enough Halloween themed fabric to make my own Halloween themed CURTAINS. And seeing as I identified as pagan for a lot of years, a metallic pentacle at least eight inches across in the upstairs window should be a nice touch.
I considered 50” furry spiders to put on the house, but I worry they wouldn’t weather well, since this stuff is staying up.
Little jack O lantern lights in the roses might be a nice touch, though.
You didn’t like my poor vine? Let’s see how you like YEAR ROUND HALLOWEEN, motherf!@#er.
Never underestimate a bored, vindictive, aspie.
Last updated May 29, 2017

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