Nov 30th 2016

OMG dog. in People suck. Cats are awesome. Dogs are alright.

•  Nov. 30, 2016, 3:50 p.m.
 
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• Public

When I first got her it was rough. She cried at night and kept me up and the Male had to sleep with her so I could sleep at all. Then we got past that, and it was great for a few months.

The house breaking never took hold, but I figured it would eventually, right? I’m consistent in taking her out, and I give her treats when she goes in the yard and I tap her paw to some hanging bells that I put by the door as we go out, and I say, “out”, so theoretically she should eventually figure out that pawing the bells gets the door open, I thought.

I taught her eight “tricks”. She knows: sit, stay, shake, lay down, roll over, stand, bow, and fetch.

But now we’re at five months, and she’s still not housebroken. Add to that, she’s upwards of thirty pounds and hops ALOT.  Plus her insatiable need to destroy anything she can get ahold of, and I don’t mean just chewing or separation anxiety.

She will grab things off of the tables, (like laundry that I’m working on), and whip it around and roll on the floor with it. If I don’t get it away from her fast enough, she’ll ruin it. She peed on my jacket that I left in a chair. She pulled strands out of one of the rugs and unraveled part of it.

Never mind that she terrorizes the cats, constantly chasing them and hopping at them, so they’re stuck trapped on top of the furniture to get away from her.

The only thing I can do to get any work done is put her in her crate. I tried leashing her to the desk, and she pulled it away from the wall and unplugged the computer and and peed right there on the floor, without giving me any indication that she needed to go out.

But once she’s in her crate, she cries like she’s being horrifically mistreated. I give her smoked pork neck bones every time she goes in there. She’ll see me go to the refrigerator and run into her crate wagging her tail, wanting that pork. But as soon as it’s gone, the whining starts. And it doesn’t stop. I have not rewarded this behavior. I neither yell nor pacify her while she’s in the crate. I completely ignore her. - The husband yells at her at night, because he’s trying to sleep so he can go to work. Me, I hide in my room with a fan and earplugs and drown her out.

I’ve read so many blog posts about how to quiet down a dog. And how to housebreak a dog.

I know she’s not stupid. She knows a lot of commands. But when she’s following commands and waiting for treats is the ONLY time I can bear to be around her.

She’s gone from cute puppy with a hopeful future to OMFG half grown dog whose essentially a hurricane with feet.

I keep telling the Male to ask around and try to find someone to take her, but he’s convinced that getting rid of her would mean a death sentence for her. Now I love animals, I do, but I don’t want to spend the next fifteen years locked in my room just to escape her constant squealing and destruction. This is stupid.

I want to go on the road, vending at festivals, and I can’t do that with her.

The Male is buying a shock collar, which I’ve always been absolutely against, but at this point I’ll try just about anything.

Said dog is half pitbull, half boxer mix, with a really pretty dark brindle pattern of orange stripes on a blackish brown background. Yea, I know, pitbulls are not known for their intellect. She was really cute, and free, and I thought she’d make a good watch dog.

I guess as problems go, it could be worse. But this sure isn’t fun.

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Update:

Out of sheer frustration, I’ve moved her crate upstairs; where we can only here little snippets of her wailing. The hope being that if no one yells at her, eventually she stop crying when she realizes that she’s being ignored.

Additionally, after a rude commenter whom I’ve since blocked suggested that I take this five month old dog out every thirty minutes, I’ve tweaked that sh@#$y advice a bit. I’m taking her out about once an hour, and giving her ham when she goes in the yard. My thinking being that if she views urinating outdoors the same as any other “trick”, it might work better. Better yet if the rewards are better.

Failing this, all I’m left with is giving her Benadryl and keeping her in a muzzle when we go on the road; or selling her myself. The former being just plain sad, and the latter likely to send me into a meltdown.

So let’s hope this works.

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